I need to digest an accumulation of thoughts I’ve had after reading some books about how we connect. Currently, I’m reading a book from Daniel Lapin called Thou Shall Prosper. He covers a lot of ground, but particularly, I’m struck by his description of how wealth is created when people cooperate to share goods and services. He says that it takes people to do this and it’s a good thing when both parties work together in a business transaction that is a win-win.
I’m putting this together with much that I’ve learned from Seth Godin about how it only takes a relative handful of ‘raving fans’ to have a successful business. He talks about focusing on building these targeted relationships instead of marketing to the masses.
In addition, many of the business books and trainings that I’ve been through talk about how people like to do business with people they know, like and trust. This is the basis of networking, right?
Let me add another dimension to this: Having genuine relationships.
I stress the word genuine because I think that it’s very easy in business to try and collect as many ‘contacts’ as you can so you can have this massive database to market to. When I was a Realtor, this was definitely part of it, whether expressed or implied.
I’m over that.
I’m over having ‘thin’, ‘throwaway’ relationships that I only care about if it brings me business. That’s not the life that I want today. Instead, I’d rather know a few people well and do business with them. It’s not wrong to know lots of people or even have a database- the change is more in me and my approach.
Here’s the hard part that has to come first: I can’t control the results. I can only control me.
My part of the business relationship (or friendship) is to be genuine. Whether someone becomes a raving fan or not, I can act professionally, with integrity. My motive must go beyond growing my business.
In reality, who cares if I have a bigger business? Money can’t buy me love, right? Instead, [and this is where the difference is in me today] I must love first and trust that the business will come.
If I’m loving others, don’t you think that will make me a better business person? If I’m not “easily angered” or “keeping records of wrongs” won’t people want to be around me? If I’m “always protecting, trusting, hoping and persevering” wouldn’t that make me the kind of person that people will want to do business with. (See 1 Cor. 13:4-7)
Mainly, I’m lecturing myself here and hoping to encourage others in the process. I think people crave genuine relationships and can tell when they are just being sold to.
My hypothesis is that if I start by loving others and putting relationships before business, that the business will come.
Let’s put it to the test.
-Peter
